Why you want to stay đ„°
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Itâs heartbreaking how many relationships seem to be falling apart around us during this time of year. I see young couples with small kids breaking up their family, with the hope of finding the life of their dreams on the other side of a divorce.
I want to start out by saying that obviously if youâre with an abusive partner, or thereâs addiction or other hard reasons for leaving, leave!
BUT, if the reason youâre leaving is general discontent, a feeling of not being understood, of not being loved, an inability to see in your partner what first made you fall for them, boredom and disagreements around the kids education etc ⊠I want to offer that these are all THOUGHTS created by YOUR BRAIN.
And just as youâve chosen to stick with those thoughts, and believe them, you can choose other thoughts that will produce different results.
It doesnât matter how much your partner loves you if your brain is determined on not feeling loved.
If your brain is hell-bent on finding all the evidence that this relationship is no longer working, then it WILL!
Itâs called confirmation bias, and if youâre not aware of it, then you can literally talk yourself out of a relationship.
You may not want to stay in your relationship.
But I would advise you that before making the decision to leave, you practise finding all you LOVE about it. Because youâre taking your brain with you. And it will start the same inner conversation in your next relationship.
So practise creating love with your brain in your current relationship.
Give equal airtime to all the reasons to stay.
And once you are actually content and COULD stay, THEN decide if you want to stay or leave. What reasons do you like the most? Which story do you believe more?
Itâs exactly the same process with our career. Learn to appreciate what youâve got, remember why you went into it in the first place and practise creating love for it again. And THEN decide if you want to change careers. Donât do it from a story your biased brain has created.
In your corner,
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