Weird mouth-guards 😬
My youngest daughter Paula and I had just bought the mouth-guards for kickboxing - did you know you have to boil these things and form them to your teeth??!!
It was weird, and fun, as most of the situations I was used to being in with my wonderful kids.
Shortly after this picture, Paula left for boarding school in Denmark, something she really wanted to do to try to live in the country she’s half part of.
And our relationship changed.
It was subtle, but constant.
She became a full grown teenager and started telling me less about her life on our calls.
She had anxiety and didn’t want to share with me, and when she did, I couldn’t stop my inner “advice monster” and had a clear idea about how she should behave, think and feel.
I kept telling her what to do, thinking that surely she would see this was the best way!
It didn’t exactly go the way I wanted and expected.
I realised I was pushing her away, and looked for help.
Then I found and fell in love with the concept of coaching.
Coaching taught me that I don’t need to “fix” my daughter.
I just have to be there for her!
My way of doing things is not necessarily the only way.
I don’t need to make my family “happy” all the time.
They have their own way of facing and doing things, and that’s ok.
I am not responsible for their feelings, and I don’t have to change them.
Coaching taught me to swallow my “advice monster”, and just be curious, not assume anything, and ask questions instead of telling others what to do.
Being able to do this saved my relationship with Paula, and now both her and her older sister (who is currently travelling in Thailand) will not hesitate to call me up for moral support and tell me all about their life, knowing that I’m not going to try to change them in any way, to “fix” them.
It has radically up levelled my marriage to the version 2.0.
Where are you trying to “fix” and control your loved ones because you think you know better?
And in the clinic; where are you judging, assuming and not being open to each owner's unique way to deal with their pets' health, thereby shutting down communication and connection?
In your corner,
Ready to fall back in love with Vet Med?
If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or doubting yourself — I get it. I've been there. Here's how I can help:
- Book a Free 50-Minute Coaching Session — Let's chat about where you are and where you want to be. Book here
- Download the Free Burnout Guide — 10 ways to overcome burnout in the veterinary clinic. Get it here
- Explore the Happy in Vet Med Programme — Beat burnout and imposter syndrome. Learn more
You don't have to do this alone.