Trusting yourself as a veterinarian
20-year old cat with gallop heart rhythm and aorta thromboembolism comes in, howling at the top of her lungs, at the same time as a 12-year old dog with hemoabdomen, absolutely white gums, collapsed and abdominal breathing. It’s rare that I get true emergencies coming in at the exact same time, because, let’s face it, MOST out of hours veterinary visits are something like vomiting and diarrhea, limping, ate raisins, and so on. So I must admit I froze for a second there. Well, I gave both opioids and oxygen, but then my nurse and I had to decide which one to deal with first, and try to break the terrible news to TWO owners at the same time. It was a tough moment, a bit like Sophie's choice. When we have situations that just don’t have ONE ideal solution, we’ve got to trust ourselves and make that call, knowing it’s likely the best we can do with the sh*t we’re being offered at that time. So the question is: Do you trust yourself as a vet? Do you trust your decisions? Or do you freeze in the moment, desperately wanting someone more experienced to give you a second opinion (this happens to ALL of us at some point, to be honest)? Do you make the decision, but then beat yourself up over it time and time again, or maybe keep doubting whether you made the right decision? Do you use the outcome as proof, in hindsight, that you SHOULDN’T trust yourself? How you deal with these cases, and more importantly, how you deal with YOURSELF in the aftermath, is crucial to your confidence, motivation and general wellbeing as a vet. Nobody can tell us if we made the right decision. But YOU can know if you like your REASONS for making the decision. Since we can’t really control the outcome, it’s really important that you evaluate your actions from that point of view: what your reasons were in the heat of the moment, and NOT from the point of view of what happened afterwards. Trusting yourself means that you know that you won’t beat yourself up no matter what happens. That you will learn from it and move forward, but not with sleepless nights, anxiety attacks going to work, or convincing yourself that everyone else is better than you, and would have handled it better. Trusting yourself means accepting that sometimes there ISN’T an ideal solution, but we can still help, alleviating pain and suffering, and know that this is also incredibly valuable. That YOU are incredibly valuable, doing what you do. Remember to always evaluate every aspect: 3 things you did well. 3 things you’d do differently next time. Have a wonderful weekend! |