That guilty, nagging feeling....
You know that that guilty, nagging feeling when you think ….
- You should have stayed at work a bit longer and help out
- You’re not spending enough time with your kids
- You’re not exercising as much as you “should”.
- You’re behind with callbacks and emails
- You’re not paying enough attention to your partner
- Should have put some nicer knickers on for date-night🩲
Fill in the blanks….
That guilty feeling doesn’t come from you NOT doing these things, but the THOUGHTS you’re having around them.
Your job …
- Your kids …
- Your partner …
- The gym …
- Bridget Jones knickers …
>>> Can NOT make you feel guilty. Only YOUR OWN BRAIN can manage to do that.
So when you feel a knot in the stomach and you’re weighed down by guilt, ask yourself why exactly that is.
Find the thoughts, and question them.
A LOT of them will come from this goddam perfectionism most of us fruitlessly try to live up to.
How can you give yourself grace, and stop trying to be everywhere all the time, being 100% for everyone else, AND expect to look fabulous doing it?
The “SHOULD” thoughts are big red flags.
They are telling you that you’re shaming yourself for not being perfect, and wanting to try to change the past >> both impossible actions.
If you’re constantly feeling guilty, it’s going to wear you out and lead to burn-out.
And it’s NOT because of all the things you’re doing imperfectly/not doing, but because of the stories your brain makes up around them.
SO:
- Notice the guilt, feel it and breathe into it
- Find the thought(s) causing it, and QUESTION those expectations you have for yourself; how realistic are they?
- Find a way to give yourself grace and drop the perfectionism.