How a burned-out vet fell back in love with the profession

My husband and his visiting family were almost done with dinner by the time I made it back to the restaurant, desperately wiping my face hoping there weren't any blood splatters.

I could not count the times I had sat down for dinner, only to be interrupted by the emergency phone and a panicking voice in the other end. I felt I was on a train I couldn't stop, of calls and surgeries and decisions I had to make on the fly.

When I fist graduated, I LOVED doing emergencies. I felt incredibly cool having to leave any event with "I have to go and save an animal", like Superwoman, but changing into scrubs instead of lycra and a cape.

I still loved saving animals, but over the years it had eaten its way so much into my private life that it was basically non existent. Any time I wasn't actively working, I was worrying about cases, over when the other shoe would drop, and had I done enough.

I was already on my second marriage, and I felt my relationship with my teenage daughters was slipping through my fingers. I always had an underlying feeling of unease that made it impossible for me to every fully relax and enjoy myself. I could be surrounded by happy people, but I felt that if I truly joined them in spirit, it would be letting the guard down and something bad would happen.

I ended up in ER several times with heart palpitations and chest pain, but nothing abnormal was found (now I know it was the anxiety, but I wasn't even aware of that at that point).

After long conversations with my husband I decided I needed to leave vet med. I sold my clinic, and took a year off. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, and felt really bad for not working, so desperately searched for ways to know what to do next. I read Tim Ferris 4-hour Work Week because that sounded nice, and Tony Robbins "Awaken the Giant Within", because maybe there was something inside me I didn't know about.

I read books on self development and listened to podcasts like crazy, and joined one of Tony Robbins courses to find "my superpower". During the time in the course I asked for advice on how to deal with my teens, and someone recommended The Life Coach School Podcast. As soon as I tuned in I was hooked.

Here were all the answers I had been searching for, on why I felt so anxious, why I struggled so much to set boundaries, and why I was never in control of my time. I wanted to go all in, so joined their program and was coached for the first time in my life. At first, I was really irritated at the coaches, because why didn't they just tell me what to do??

I still remember when one coach asked me why I wanted to control and manipulate everyone around me by being a people pleaser. I was literally stunned. What do you mean by MANIPULATING?!?! I am a NICE person, wanting to be NICE to others!! But, in effect, they were right. Not showing my true self, always saying yes even when I resented it inside, WAS a way to manipulate how other people saw me.

I now knew what I wanted to do: I wanted to be a coach, and help others like I was being helped. I felt so much better in myself, and was discovering so many things that had kept me stuck in self destroying patterns. I realised how far away I was from the person I really wanted to be, and started writing about it because, EVERYONE needed to hear about this.

And then, a year after I left, I started missing the veterinary profession. It was little things, like seeing a Greyhound and thinking about how amazing the veins were to place a catheter. I realised I now saw the veterinary life through a completely different lens, where I could have a normal life and feel good about it.

I now knew everything about imposter syndrome and how much it had affected me. I had learned that perfect doesn't exist, and doing your best is good enough. A big revelation to me was also that everyone doesn't have to like me - it sounds silly now I'm writing it down, but back then it felt like life or death to be liked by everyone.

I came back to vet med, and decided to work in ER as my nervous system could now handle the stress and uncertainty. Working nights is fun; the night crew is always slightly special and the sense of humour off the charts (in order to survive all the dark moments). I love being able to make a huge difference in pet's and their owner's lives, and I'm not so afraid of being judged all the time.

I'm still human, of course, so I still struggle with the really sad cases, and there are some nights that are harder than others. But overall I can truly say I enjoy the profession again, while I have also managed to completely switch off, when I'm off.

Ready to fall back in love with Vet Med?

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or doubting yourself — I get it. I've been there. Here's how I can help:

• Book a Free 50-Minute Coaching Session — Let's chat about where you are and where you want to be. Book here
• Download the Free Burnout Guide — 10 ways to overcome burnout in the veterinary clinic. Get it here
• Explore the Happy in Vet Med Programme — Beat burnout and imposter syndrome. Learn more

You don't have to do this alone.