Damage Through Action
What would you feel worse about: Your dog getting mamma tumours because you DIDN’T neuter, or getting an osteosarcoma because you neutered very young? 😵💫
People tend to feel more guilty when there’s negative consequences through an action we HAVE taken, than if it’s because of something we DIDN’T do: Damage Through Action vs. Damage Through Inaction.
This shows up in our lives in so many ways, and it’s important to be aware of it!
Because it will stop you from making decisions that could potentially improve your life greatly, just in case they turn out “wrong”.
So we will rather run the risk of being stuck in a job/house/relationship we don’t really like, than risking DOING something, and then end up not liking that either, even if the odds of improvement are much greater.
Because you know you’ll beat yourself up for doing “the wrong thing” . And our brains are SCARED of us judging and being harsh to ourselves.
Because we are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be.
So how do we bypass this defence mechanism, so we can make bold decisions and move on in our lives, away from mediocre situations?
You decide that no matter what, you’ve made the right decision.
You decide ahead of time NOT to beat yourself up, and keep moving until you find your spot in the sun, instead of looking backwards and idealising a situation that was never what you really wanted with your life.
This is what I do in coaching, when my clients are stuck and can’t see a way out: I show them how their brains are tripping them up to protect them from the Damage Through Action, and then we brainstorm ways to overcome it.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it!