Complaint dismissed - finally!!
As many of you know, I was battling with a complaint put against me for allegedly refusing to see a dying cat, and I’ve been telling you about how I was dealing emotionally with this rather undesirable part of being a veterinary surgeon.
And I completely forgot to tell you! I received the closing letter from the Royal College about a month ago, declaring: “The Preliminary Investigation Committee decided that there is not a realistic prospect of the concerns being found to amount to serious professional misconduct, meaning that the case will now be closed.” (Basically, I knew nothing about the cat and had nothing to do with it and they realised that).
Years ago, that letter would have meant a huge deal. There would have been a before and after in my mental state. It would have meant the end of sleepless nights, and my shoulders dropping about ½ metre after sitting up by my ears for months (since the complaint first came to my attention).
But when I opened the letter I was just kind of, “Aaah. That’s nice. Ok, I don’t have to send them any more paperwork and that’s cool.” Because I had coached myself so thoroughly on it, and taken care of my nervous system, I had already reached the mental state of “It’s done” without knowing the end result.
Basically I used the principle of coaching that it’s not our external circumstances that determine how we feel, but our THOUGHTS about the circumstances.
I want to share with you the basic tools that helped me get so grounded and cope emotionally with an otherwise stressful and upsetting situation, in the hope it might help any of you in a similar situation:
- I knew it was never really about me and I didn’t have to take it personally. The owners of the cat were upset and wanted some sort of closure/compensation.
- This leads to the next thought: It’s ok to let others be wrong about me - I can let that go.
- I have my own back, no matter what. This translates into noticing when my brain started spinning in “should” thoughts and shame over somehow, somewhere I might have failed someone
- Learning from mistakes in a way that propels us forward and not using them against ourselves: I had no idea about the cat I allegedly refused to see, but made sure from then on to always triple check with any nurses or assistants that they understand I NEVER refuse to see an animal.
- Taking care of my nervous system: When an email would land from the Royal College with the headline “Private and Confidential” and “RCVS Concern Case xxx”, my body would literally react as if a bomb had landed in my lap. It’s super important to acknowledge your body’s response, and respond by feeling that emotion, breathing into it, and realise this is normal, just as it’s normal for our brains to make this mean our career is over, and we should go and live under a bridge.
- There was a LOT of paperwork involved: Proof of being up to date with CPD’s, proof of insurance, etc etc, which took time and effort and felt unnecessary. BUT I knew it just had to be done, and realised that arguing with the reality and being huffing and puffing about it would just make it harder.
I hope this serves any of you who might come into a similar situation; past, present or future.
If you work in a shoe shop, you’re unlikely to have complaints of life and death - but being in the medical profession it’s just something that will happen to all of us at some point. Learning how to get through it will help your stress levels and prevent you from wanting to give up the profession.
P.S: If you need help learning to deal with challenging situations, I’m your coach! I’ve been through it all and have developed the tools and strategies to get you through any situation in a way that you can feel in control and land on your feet. Reach out for a free consultation and I’ll tell you how I can help you if we’re a good fit.
Book your free exploratory session HERE